Discovering Joy

I was not really sure what to write about because I have really been feeling a little down the past week. Sometimes the better thoughts come from rambling and I have had some rambling thoughts the past two weeks! Happy. Sad. Angry. Thankful. Feeling sorry for myself and wanting to eat my emotions, which is really easy to do right now being pregnant. Yeah, I did tear up some Ben and Jerry's Karamel Sutra and yeah, it made me feel better! There is so much happening right now with Andy's work and us possibly moving, and I am REALLY missing my family.  I know that I am having the ups and downs of pregnancy hormones but golly, I am ready to feel some joy!
Everyone has their struggles and there is always someone out there in a worse situation than me. BUT, it's not just my family situation and our struggles that are bothering me right now. It is like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. It makes it so hard to focus on the positive too with technology and negative reports on the Internet, TV, and social media sites. I think it was on Kelly the other morning and they were pointing out that the main article on the front page of the paper was something very cliche and down in small print was an article on a possible cure for a certain type of cancer. I mean, really people! That is something to celebrate! And instead of that being in huge print, it was down in tiny little print in the corner. I passed a homeless man (let's call him Blue Eyes - they were the brightest blue eyes) by Walmart the other day and just about burst in to tears. His sign said, "We are ugly. But ugly people get hungry too." His sign was referring to himself and his sweet dog with him.  I mean, even this guy has more of a sense of humor than I do right now! I went and grabbed him a Wendy's combo meal and took it back to him. When I pulled up, Blue Eyes said, "Ooooh, bless you little lady!" and there was such joy in his eyes! It was like I handed him a Wendy's bag with a million dollars in it! And what did I say back to him - "Have a nice day".  I mean what a load of crap Michelle. Surely I could have said something a little more inspirational or uplifting. Nope. Have a nice day.  And as I drove off, I could just feel the tears in my eyes! It tugged at my heart strings for some reason that day. I don't know if other people ever go through emotions like this but then I was like "I NEED TO SAVE THE WORLD!". It made me want to welcome every homeless or needy person in to my home and give them a bowl of warm food.

I know that with all this comes the miracles in life that I lose focus on when there is so much negative. All I have to do is look at my Baby Girl's face and see the joy that has not been tainted by the cruelties of the world. She still finds the joy in the little things - blowing a bubble and popping it, swinging, using Andy as her tree since she is his monkey, seeing a bird in the sky, grabbing my hand to show me the rock she discovered in her rock garden - these little things are what bring me the most joy in life. Those little discoveries that she makes are the most joyous ones.

So, I am going to try and focus my energy into seeing the little things in life that bring us the most happiness. And later, I want to pursue the big things that can bring joy into other's lives. Andy told me that once we are settled somewhere he really wants to open a soup kitchen (just another reason I love this man so much). I think that it sealed the deal for me with Blue Eye's last week. Even though there is so much negative in the world, when the positive breaks through, it is so uplifting. When you see the actual joy in a complete stranger's eyes, that is when you can discover the joy for yourself.

Poop...it happens.

I could not help but laugh when writing this, thinking about all these past memories! I may just randomly start using the phrase "Poop Deck" as well.

Poop

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:

• Feces, waste product from an animal's digestive tract expelled through the anus
• Defecation, the act or process by which organisms eliminate feces
• Pooper-scooper, used by pet owners to pick up their pets' fecal matter
• Stern, the rear or aft part of a ship or boat
• Poop deck, a deck that constitutes the roof of a cabin built in the aft (rear) part of the superstructure of a ship
• "To be pooped", nautical parlance meaning to have a wave come over the stern from abaft
• Poop (constellation) or Puppis, a constellation in the southern sky
• Pooped, to be fatigued.

This is not for the weak of stomach. I think poop/vomit stories are hilarious and love gross stuff. With children and pets, I think it is fair to say at some point or another, there is going to be a gross poop story. I like to paint a vivid picture so these are pretty detailed!

Brutus

Brutus is our boxer. He is a very, shall we say, special dog. I knew this was going to be the case when he was a puppy. When he was a puppy, he went through a phase when he ate every other animal's poop at "the Hill" (this is what my family calls our land/old Christmas tree farm outside of Ruston). It was disgusting. We would let him out, he would come in and eat his food, and then vomit "poop food" everywhere. This was not ok since I was the one cleaning up the mess most of the time. And I mean gross! What is wrong with this dog! So we loaded him up and headed to the vet's office. The remedy for this was to sprinkle a powder on his food that would make the poop taste like, well I am not sure how or what makes poop taste bad, but it worked. Apparently, the poop was no longer a tasty, edible treat after that. I'll never forget too, one morning when we woke up and he must have gotten in something the day before because he had diarrhea all over himself, the kennel and the wall behind him. That was super fun to clean up and to try to not vomit on myself at 8 a.m. His latest incident involved poop up here, and I guess he thought he might give it a taste one more time. Brutus came in, started doing his weird pacing thing, and splat. Poop Vomit all over the living room carpet. Now, I have a pretty strong stomach when it comes to poop but this one almost did it to me. I definitely gagged a couple times. Steam cleaner rented and it was like it never happened, thank the Lawd!

Felix

Felix was the first animal that Andy and I ever had. He was a rescue cat and wooed me with his purring and rubbing all over me. He just could not get enough love. Well, turns out that is strictly on his terms, and if he does not want to be petted, he will swat you. He is a feisty cat but man, I love that guy. I feel like in this picture, you can just see that he is plotting his next move. We did not bring him with us to ND since we are in a townhouse, Andy really did not want to ride with him the eleventy billion miles it is up here, and the street behind us is so busy. He now resides in Tucson with Uncle Bean and Auntie Dessa. I actually think this worked out really well for Felix because he no longer has to deal with any dogs bothering him. Trust me though, he was the king of our house and Brutus knew not to mess with him. Felix would sneak up on Brutus and beat up on him for no reason at all! I think Gene wrestles with him and has put him in his place now, but I know he still gets a lick in on Gene every now and then...good kitty.

When we left Monroe to move to The Hill, we had our last load of stuff including Felix. We put him in Brutus's kennel and it was only a thirty minute drive so I figured we could tolerate his whining. Well, THE ENTIRE WAY, he was howling at us. I say howling because the sounds that were coming out of him were from the gut. I thought Andy was going to chunk him in the kennel on the side of I20. He started doing all this weird scratching and clawing and really trying to get out of the kennel. I kept telling him, "Just a few more minutes buddy!". Few more minutes my ass. We were literally on the off ramp to head to the Hill when I look back and he is in the "bathroom position". Yep. Took a shit in the kennel. Now dog poop is one thing. Cat poop has a completely different aroma. EWWWWWW. We had the windows down and had our heads hanging out gagging, trying to make it the rest of the way. Felix then laid (opposite the side of his waste product) contentedly in the kennel with a very smirk look on his face. It was if he was saying to us "See, I told you I was uncomfortable. Look what you made me do." I have more stories that involve him and Brutus, but we'll get to those another day.

Andy

Most of our family and close friends know that Andy DOES NOT DO POOP.  Andy is notorious for stopping up toilets. I know this because I am usually the one that finds it. He has also had to plunge many toilets at various homes over the years. He says, "I like a clean butt!". That means that he uses a half a roll of TP every time he pottys (which I think is ridiculous). Our saving grace for him has been adult flushable wipes and trying to train him to "Double Flush".

There is a golf tournament in Ruston that we went to a couple times with our friends, Rob and Megan. Lots of fun and lots of cocktails! The second summer I was with child but it was just as much fun and of course, the guys had a great time, even if their game was not the best. While the boys played, Megan and I lounged by the pool at the hotel and just hung out. I really don't remember why, but we ended up eating at Rabb's that Saturday night after it was over, which involved a lot of fried food and steak. Andy was well inebriated, and I think we called it a night relatively early due to the boy's sunburns and what not. When pregnant, it's also just not as much fun to deal with a hungover husband. So, we went back to our room and Andy headed to the bathroom to take care of business.

Here we go: He stops up the toilet. So, he gets a plunger and starts the process...that didn't go so well. He then proceeds to vomit in the sink. There is no way I am dealing with any of this. I am way to pregnant at this point and the last thing I wanted to do was to add to what was already happening in the bathroom. Just from the smell, I already had that feeling like it was creeping up my esophagus. I called Rob and Megan. Rob is a nurse so I figured he could help with this, since he deals with gross things on a daily basis. Nope. I think he must have been already out because here comes poor Megan to help clean up the mess. I still can't thank her enough to this day, and I don't know how she mananged to do it. Andy owed her big after that night...that is true friendship when you count on someone else to clean up your spouse's mess!

Another account of true friendship happened up here during football season. Lawd, bless my husband. He really is something! We grilled out burgers, and I believe we were also drinking "Country Club Specials" (vodka, sprite, club soda, sweet and sour, and garnish with lime - delish!) Occasionally, I will change LF's diaper while she is standing up. This is something I learned when I worked at Montessori. I have no idea why or what Andy was thinking on this lovely evening of watching football and partaking in libations with our friends. He took LF up to get her ready for bath and apparently thought he should change her diaper while she was standing up. This is an overall terrible idea for Andy, as it took me a while to get used to doing this at the school. Of course, she had a little poop diapee that I guess Andy did not check for first. I hear Andy yelling for me and haul ass up the stairs...I'm like What is it?? What happened?? And then I hear his gag noise that he makes. No pun intended but in my mind I am like, Oh Shit. I get up there and poor LF is just standing by the tub, Andy is holding her diaper up and it's obvious he is about to lose it. I am like, "Get out! I got it!" NOPE. Too late because he got a little poop on his finger. SPLAT! He vomits and literally misses me by a couple inches. Ok, now what you need to know is I DO NOT DO VOMIT. I can handle my own child's but that is pretty much it. So now I am holding the poop diapee, need the wipes, which are of course in the other room, and Andy is projectile vomiting in the bathroom next to my head.

Oh dear. Then I caught the whiff of his stomach contents and am trying to get my shirt over my nose as I feel my gagging coming on. I YELL for Roger. He, at first thought that we were just being loud and goofing around, and then he heard the panic in my voice. I think he made it up the stairs in two leaps. Once Roger assessed what was happening, he said, "Oh my god, that smell! That is terrible!", and I am pretty sure repeated that about 5-20 times. I started barking orders then, the first of which is to get my puking husband out of there and then in between breaths things like "Bring me the wipes!", "Grab the Paper towels and 409!", "Get the Swiffer!!", "Andy, get out of her because your gagging noises are going to make me puke!". God Bless Roger. I don't know what I would have done without him there that day. And thank Jesus he had the stomach to help clean it all up. I mean, Andy even managed to get puke down the floor vent. Just from a little poop on the finger. The whole time too, poor little Lila Faye was just in the buff with a dirty booty watching everything that was happening. I would have loved to have known what was going through that little mind!

These are just a few of the many gross stories that have happened to us over the past years and would love to hear some of yours! I hope you enjoyed and Happy Friday!

The Dirty Thirty

The Dirty Thirty

My Dirty Thirty Desserts: Blueberry Bread Pudding, Brownie Sundae with Peanut Butter Caramel Sauce, and Flan. Since I am pregnant and not able to partake in my wine, I figured 3 desserts was reasonable.

I have turned 30 (cue the background noise, "Dun dun dun"). I am actually kind of excited about it too. I mean my 20's were pretty grand...married my best friend, had a beautiful baby girl, got a college degree, traveled to many new places, gained several new close friends, was able to be at my siblings' weddings, was able to hold both my nephews right after they were born (just waiting on that next niece or nephew Gene and Adessa - no pressure though), moved to North Dakota ha! I feel like I learned a lot in my 20's, but I am really pumped for my 30's. I feel like for some reason this will be my decade.

Ok, I am not putting a time frame on any of these goals. I am just saying in my 30's I am going to do these things and in no particular order, well except the first.  That is kind of a given.

 My "Dirty Thirty" goals:

1. Have Baby #2 - already knocked up and if everything goes as planned, Bean will make his appearance in late September. Guess I can semi-check this one.

2. Run a Half Marathon -  A very long time ago, an ex of mine told me that I run funny. This comment impacted me for YEARS. I doubt he can say he has ever run that far, so take that. I have always been very self-conscious about running anywhere that anyone might see me until the past couple years. I do it now though mainly because I know how important cardio is and the older I get the less of a shit I give about what anyone thinks of what I look like. Plus, I need to be able to out run the zombies one day.

3. Write my Book - I have enjoyed writing since I was young and had a couple of books that I started when I was probably around age 10. My mom keeps everything and it's fun to look back at those things. I think in life we sometimes take paths away from what we are truly passionate about.  I loved writing but never really got pushed in that direction. And certainly not during my college years. By the time I realized that I really didn't love my degree, it was too late to change and I was ready to get the hell out of there. So this decade, I am going to make it happen. It might take all ten years but I am going to do it!

4. Get my Passport - see #'s 5 and 6.

5.  Go to Italy - Somewhere I have always wanted to go and this will happen. I want to drink wine and eat pasta and make out wherever with my husband. Because when in Rome...

6. Go to New Zealand - I was THIS close to doing a study abroad in college, but I just couldn't get the balls. I think things happen in life and we meet people for certain reasons. When I graduated I ended up working with a lady from New Zealand! What are the chances! I lived with her too, and she is just one of my favorite people in the world. She has been a friend, roommate, mom, and confidante over the years. So, I am going to go ahead and invite myself to fly to New Zealand with her next time she travels home ha! Well, at least I know I have someone that has family there and can tell me all the non-touristy places to go.

7. LET IT GO -  I am not sure that this is a goal but more of just a continuing to work on myself. I work really hard to let things go (most of the time). It took me a really long time to figure out where it comes from too. I get it from my Mom. She can really hold on to things from the past. She will bring up stuff that I am like really?? That was YEARS ago. Let it go! I think that all of us "childrens" were so blessed with this trait too because my sister and brother can be the same way. They remember things that I must have completely pushed into that part of the brain that tucks things away for life. I am the same way though and they have forgotten things that left such a big memory to me. I am sure I have done things or said things to others that were rude or offensive and am very sorry for that, but I am surely trying to let the things go that have been done or said to me. This takes a lot of work people but it takes way too much negative energy to hold on to the past.

8. Read the Bible - I am not going to lie. I have read many parts of the Bible but never the entire thing, as an actual book. I think my problem is that it was never presented that way. It's always just been more of a reference tool. So, after I finish my vampire books (the new Sookie book is out next month - holla!!), King's 11/22/63, and Fifty Shades of Grey and Fifty Shades Darker, I think I will give it a go.

9. Take an Art Class - Just always wanted to...

10. Remember to Write Thank You Notes - I really try do this but it is hard! I always feel like it is the nicest thing to receive an actual note in the mail. Not a text, not a Facebook message, not a shout out on whatever other social network people feel like is important. A hand written note. That you can put on the Frigidaire. I think the older I get the more old fashioned I become. Mam-Maw is the BEST with hand written thank you's! I need to make it a competition with her or something in my head so I'll get them done in a timely manner!

This was my Dirty Thirty dinner. Not nearly as exciting as the desserts, but it was one of the best steaks I have ever had.

The Easter Bunny at our little ghetto mall in Dickinson. None of us were just super excited to be there...LF was way more interested in all the plastic eggs than the Bunny!

Walking to church Easter Sunday with my two favorite peeps!

All right so I have a lot to accomplish! I'll make sure and check these off as they happen!

Breakfast Casserole Marlette Style

Breakfast Casserole Marlette Style

This is my recipe for a breakfast casserole. It is so easy and we think, pretty yummy for a morning brunch. You can really do quite a few variations to this as well. Bacon or ham, rather than sausage, throw in some onions and peppers, really whatever you want to try. My husband always says recipes are just guidelines!

Breakfast Casserole

1 lb. Country sausage, cooked and crumbled

About 4-5 day old crescent rolls or whatever leftover bread you have to fill the bottom of a casserole pan (you can also use croutons)

8 - 10 eggs

1/2 Cup of Milk

Bag of Shredded Cheese

Salt and Pepper to Taste

Heat oven to 350 Degrees. Grease a casserole pan (I usually use a square glass pan). Break up the bread in tiny pieces and spread in the bottom of the pan. Sprinkle the sausage all over the top of the bread. Whisk the eggs and milk and as much salt and pepper as you feel necessary. Pour this mixture over the top of the sausage. Sprinkle cheese on top of the egg mixture. (I like to use a LOT of cheese!) Bake covered for 45-50 minutes. Remove cover and bake for 10 more minutes or until desired browning on top. Make sure a toothpick comes out clean in the center and enjoy!

Finding the Peace after the Anger...

I woke up this morning with my little angel's feet in my side and one of her arm's across my neck. Since she has had her little sinus infection she usually comes waddling in between 5 and 6 in the morning and falls back to sleep. When she woke up, she sat up and put her face right in my face. She thinks she is hilarious and then fell over laughing and was off to find Dada and get her morning "coffee" aka juice.  All of the prayers and positive thoughts that everyone is sending out are truly comforting. I received texts, phone calls (not that I could talk to anyone yesterday due to my emotional state), email's, and Facebook comments/messages. Joylynn and Sean stopped by yesterday morning to give me a hug and let me shed a few tears with them.  I know my parents are feeling the support as well and I have forwarded the messages on to them. I talked with my sister between both of us trying to get dinner in our kids and was able to Skype with my parents and brother before Lila Faye went to sleep. It felt so good to see all of their faces. I never would have thought there would be so many miles between all of us! I am so thankful that Beth may be in another state but that it is such a short drive from Magnolia to Choudrant. Gene and Adessa are flying in to Little Rock tomorrow to have an Easter visit in Magnolia. They have not seen my parents since Thanksgiving and I could tell they are both itching to see them after this news. I told Adessa she better hug both of them very hard for us! And when I say hard, I mean an Andy hug that is hard (many of you know how hard that is)! I feel very thankful that in March we were able to have two trips down south, but I will be ecstatic for July to get here and for our extended stay until we have Bean.

 With age, I have learned to try not to dwell on my anger. It usually takes me a day or so to deal with it, and then I am ready to move on or conquer whatever the situation may be.  (This is something that is very hard to learn to do when you have Gage/Anthony blood in your veins!  There is a very stubborn gene that runs down that line and all three of us kids inherited that one!)  Writing it out is really good therapy for me too and always has been.  I kept a journal for Lila Faye's first year of life for her to read one day, and I plan on doing the same with our new Bean as well. It will be interesting to compare the two one day as a brand new parent compared to being a "veteraned" parent. Anyway, Dad called this morning and they do have the specific type of lymphoma that he has: Follicular Lymphoma, which is a Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. My dad is going to see the same oncologist that my mom has seen throughout her entire battle, and I have no doubt that he will aggressively treat my father as well. That also gives me some peace of mind knowing he is using a doctor that we are so familiar with. So next week they will be off to Little Rock for their combined visit, and we will find out what he says about both of them. I know that the prayers and thoughts will continue and that whatever happens will happen. There will be more tears and and anger I can promise you that. But my parents will have an army of support so both of these cancers better be ready for a good battle because I think we are all ready to kick the shit out of cancer!

So this is the diagnosis from two different sites:

Follicular lymphoma

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    

Follicular lymphoma
Classification and external resources
Follicular lymphoma replacing a lymph node
ICD-10	C82
ICD-9	202.0
ICD-O:	M9690/3
OMIM	151430
eMedicine	med/1362
MeSH	D008224

Follicular lymphoma is the most common of the indolent non-Hodgkin's lymphomas, and the second-most-common form of non-Hodgkin's lymphomas overall. It is defined as a lymphoma of follicle center B-cells (centrocytes and centroblasts), which has at least a partially follicular pattern. It is positive for the B-cell markers CD10, CD19, CD20, and CD22^[1] but almost always negative for CD5.^[2]

There are several synonymous and obsolete terms for this disease, such as CB/CC lymphoma (Centroblastic and Centrocytic lymphoma), nodular lymphoma^[3] and Brill-Symmers Disease

From the Lymphoma Research Foundation:

Overview

Lymphoma is the most common blood cancer. The two main forms of lymphoma are Hodgkin lymphoma (HL) and non-Hodgkin lymphoma (NHL). Lymphoma occurs when lymphocytes, a type of white blood cell, grow abnormally. The body has two main types of lymphocytes that can develop into lymphomas: B-lymphocytes (B-cells) and T-lymphocytes (T-cells). Cancerous lymphocytes can travel to many parts of the body, including the lymph nodes, spleen, bone marrow, blood or other organs, and can accumulate to form tumors.

Follicular lymphoma is typically a slow-growing, or indolent, form of NHL that arises from B-lymphocytes, making it one of the B-cell lymphomas. This cancer, which accounts for roughly 20 percent to 30 percent of all NHLs, usually takes several years to develop. Follicular lymphoma is usually not considered to be curable, but patients can live for many years with this form of lymphoma. It is generally characterized by multiple relapses after responses to a variety of therapies. Often, the first sign of follicular lymphoma is a painless swelling in the neck, armpit or groin caused by enlarged lymph nodes. Some people also report loss of appetite and fatigue.

Treatment Options

Treatment of lymphoma is based on the severity of associated symptoms as well as the rate of cancer growth. Since follicu­lar lymphoma grows slowly, doctors may decide not to treat it right away, an approach referred to as “watch and wait” or “watchful waiting.” Studies have shown that patients treated early in their disease course, compared to those followed with a “watch and wait” approach, exhibit similar overall survival.
Only 10 percent to 20 percent of patients present with early stage follicular lymphoma (stages I and II), which is often treated with radiation (high-energy x-rays targeted at specific groups of involved lymph nodes). Radiation can provide cure in some patients with limited disease. In more advanced stages, physicians may often use a single agent, immunotherapy with rituximab (Rituxan) or chemo-immunotherapy to treat the dis­ease. Unlike many cancers, follicular lymphoma tends to be very sensitive to both radiation and chemotherapy. In January 2011, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved rituximab (Rituxan) as a maintenance therapy for patients with advanced follicular lymphoma who responded to initial treatment with rituximab plus chemotherapy (induction treatment).

I am so pissed at cancer and probably God a little bit too.

From Wikipedia:

Cancer /ˈkænsər/ ( listen), known medically as a malignant neoplasm, is a broad group of various diseases, all involving unregulated cell growth. In cancer, cells divide and grow uncontrollably, forming malignant tumors, and invade nearby parts of the body. The cancer may also spread to more distant parts of the body through the lymphatic system or bloodstream. Not all tumors are cancerous. Benign tumors do not grow uncontrollably, do not invade neighboring tissues, and do not spread throughout the body.
Determining what causes cancer is complex. Many things are known to increase the risk of cancer, including tobacco use, certain infections, radiation, lack of physical activity, poor diet and obesity, and environmental pollutants.^[1] These can directly damage genes or combine with existing genetic faults within cells to cause the disease.^[2] Approximately five to ten percent of cancers are entirely hereditary.
Cancer can be detected in a number of ways, including the presence of certain signs and symptoms, screening tests, or medical imaging. Once a possible cancer is detected it is diagnosed by microscopic examination of a tissue sample. Cancer is usually treated with chemotherapy, radiation therapy and surgery. The chances of surviving the disease vary greatly by the type and location of the cancer and the extent of disease at the start of treatment. While cancer can affect people of all ages, and a few types of cancer are more common in children, the risk of developing cancer generally increases with age. In 2007, cancer caused about 13% of all human deaths worldwide (7.9 million). Rates are rising as more people live to an old age and as mass lifestyle changes occur in the developing world.^[3]


Metastatic breast cancer is a stage of breast cancer where the disease has spread to distant metastases. It is a complication of primary breast cancer, usually occurring several years after resection of the primary breast cancer. Metastatic breast cancer cells frequently differ from the preceding primary breast cancer in properties such as receptor status, have often developed resistance to several lines of previous treatment and acquired special properties that permit them metastasize to distant sites, making them especially dangerous. The prognosis is often poor, distant metastases are the cause of about 90% of deaths due to breast cancer.
Breast cancer primarily metastasizes to the bone, lungs, regional lymph nodes, liver and brain, with the most common site being the bone. Lymph node metastsasis into the sentinel node and few surrounding nodes is regarded as a treatable local event and not metastatic breast cancer, both when occurring at primary presentation or later.
Typical environmental barriers in a metastatic event include physical (a basement membrane), chemical (reactive oxygen species or ROS, hypoxia and low pH) and biological (immune surveillance, inhibitory cytokines and regulatory extra-cellular matrix (ECM) peptides) components.^[1] Organ-specific anatomic considerations also influence metastasis; these include blood-flow patterns from the primary tumor and the homing ability of cancer cells to certain tissues. The targeting by cancer cells of specific organs is probably regulated by chemo-attractant factors and adhesion molecules produced by the target organ, along with cell-surface receptors expressed by the tumor cells.


Lymphoma is a cancer of the lymphocytes, a type of cell that forms part of the immune system. Typically, lymphoma is present as a solid tumor of lymphoid cells. Treatment might involve chemotherapy and in some cases radiotherapy and/or bone marrow transplantation, and can be curable depending on the histology, type, and stage of the disease.^[1] These malignant cells often originate in lymph nodes, presenting as an enlargement of the node (a tumor). It can also affect other organs in which case it is referred to as extranodal lymphoma. Extranodal sites include the skin, brain, bowels and bone. Lymphomas are closely related to lymphoid leukemias, which also originate in lymphocytes but typically involve only circulating blood and the bone marrow (where blood cells are generated in a process termed haematopoesis) and do not usually form static tumors.^[1] There are many types of lymphomas, and in turn, lymphomas are a part of the broad group of diseases called hematological neoplasms.
Thomas Hodgkin published the first description of lymphoma in 1832, specifically of the form named after him, Hodgkin's lymphoma.^[2] Since then, many other forms of lymphoma have been described, grouped under several proposed classifications. The 1982 Working formulation classification became very popular. It introduced the category non-Hodgkin lymphoma (NHL), divided into 16 different diseases. However, because these different lymphomas have little in common with each other, the NHL label is of limited usefulness for doctors or patients and is slowly being abandoned. The latest classification by the WHO (2008) lists 70 different forms of lymphoma divided in four broad groups.^[3]
Although older classifications referred to histiocytic lymphomas, these are recognized in newer classifications as of B, T or NK cell lineage. True histiocytic malignancies are rare and are classified as sarcomas.^[4]

Cancer is a word that I have known for too long in my life. My first memory of it is was when I met Somer Connelly after we moved to Magnolia. She had leukemia. She had a smile that could just light up the room and a spirit that was so warm.  She died when I was 12 years old I believe and far too young for such an angel to leave this earth. I remember my mom telling me that it wasn't the cancer that made her lose her hair, it was the medicine that treated the cancer. How can a medicine make you lose your hair though?? Little did I know that our family would be dealing with cancer far too often.  I have known cancer up close and personal for more than half of my life.   My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 40. And from then on it has been a continuous battle with her body that she has fought, refusing to let it win. She is a strong woman and now she will have to remain strong for more reasons than just her cancer battle. The last definition will become more familiar to me over the next few months as my dad was just diagnosed with lymphoma. We don't know which kind it is or a treatment plan. We should know all of that information in the next couple weeks.  8:49 a.m. 4/5/2012 I got the call and was able to keep it together when I was dropping LF off at daycare and heading to the store. It was kind of like this haze came over me. I lost it when I pulled into Walmart parking lot though. I pulled it together because we really needed some milk. That was the whole reason I needed to go there. Then I kind of just floated throughout Walmart tossing random things in my cart. I really don't even know what I bought this morning. And then...then I got pissed. I felt like M'lynn in Steel Magnolias at the funeral scene. I wanted to shake my fist and scream WHY?? WHY????? in the middle of this North Dakota Walmart. This town has not seen crazy from the South yet! I mean really? My Dad? Lila Faye's Pops?? Mike the Bluffer? This can't be happening. He is the rock. He has been the rock for my mom for all these years. It's just insane to come to the realization that both my parents have cancer now. I am so pissed off and angry and sad right now. And I am a million miles away which makes it even harder to deal with because I can not hug my parents and tell them everything is going to be ok. And we are all going to be fine. I am pissed because how can God do this? Our family has had to deal with so much over the years and make so many sacrifices. It has been a struggle financially on my family. It is the question of why and what did anyone do to deserve this? And there is no answer that can be given. You know what? I don't want prayers. I want answers. Fuck cancer. I say I don't want prayers but that is a lie. I do want prayers. And my family needs prayers and positive thoughts. Cancer takes too many lives and infects too many that do not deserve it. Sure this is a poor attitude to have right now but this is part of the process. It's almost like dealing with a close one dying. It's the grievance process of finding out a loved one has cancer. And this is not the first time I have had to go through this process unfortunately. I know lymphoma is very treatable and hopefully this will be the case with my Dad too, but Gosh Damn IT, I am pissed. So I am going to bake some cookies, wish I could have a glass of wine, and get over my pity party. Then I am going to get out in our backyard and get it ready for Lila Faye to hunt some Easter eggs. Then Andy will be home and I can cry more tears in his shoulder and he can tell me everything is going to be fine. After that I am going to pick up Lila Faye and hold her and rock her and hug her and she can watch whatever movie she wants. Then I am going to pray and ask for your prayers too because what else can you really do in this situation?